Do You Know Who I Am?

The fact that you are in ‘top’ celebrity nightspot Mahiki of an evening should not detract from a fundamental truth: you are Dirk fucking Diggler, a regular disco daddy, ripping up the floor like some shit-hot carpet-fitter of dance.

It doesn’t matter that the champagne costs £100 a bottle. It doesn’t matter that the staff treat you with a contempt normally reserved for incestuous Austrian paedophiles. It doesn’t even matter that you puke up an entire steak and kidney pie in their toilet.

No, none of these things matter because you are seriously fly and the chicks are digging it.

Digging it, that is, until you have the following conversation:

CHICK: Are you the guy from Peep Show?

YOU: Er, no.

CHICK: Oh.

(Chick shuffles away, with all her friends.)

8 Responses to “Do You Know Who I Am?”

  1. rivergirlie Says:

    try saying yes next time and see what happens. (report back, naturally)

  2. Hannah Says:

    Rivergirlie beat me to it. I hope it was at least decent champagne.

  3. patroclus Says:

    Which one aren’t you?

  4. The Done Thing Says:

    R: I once pretended to be rugby player Iain Balshaw while hanging out with a load of drunk Welsh fans on the Lions tour of Australia. They insisted we all have a race in a hotel car park, which I lost, prompting someone called Daffyd to cavort around the lobby shouting ‘I beat fucking Balshaw.’

    H: Toilet incident should tell you all you need to know about the quality of the liquour.

    P: Very Magritte. I shall elaborate further in my next post. Meanwhile, ceci n’est ce pas un Robert Webb.

  5. rivergirlie Says:

    hey, done - what happened to wyndham? has he dropped out entirely or skulked off somewhere else?
    x

  6. The Done Thing Says:

    good question. i shall make some polite enquiries …

  7. patroclus Says:

    Ooh no, perhaps TDT has been pulled into the same mysterious dark vortex as Wyndham…

  8. rivergirlie Says:

    i fear, patroclus, that it’s the dreaded blogging mojo deficiency that’s sweeping the ranks. i’m far from immune meself

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