Faint Praise

During a light-hearted argument about free-range chickens, a friend calls you a pompous ginger twat.

His girlfriend immediately leaps to your defence, insisting that you are not ginger.

Which, when you think about it more carefully, isn’t much of a defence at all.

New Games (III): Stick It Up Your Crace

Inspired by an excellent response to a comment posted here, ‘Stick It Up Your Crace’ involves transforming the surnames of public figures into expletives. Points are awarded at your discretion, though special credit should be given for Cognomenisms. In other words, if John Crace really is an arsehole, you get a massive bonus.

Kinky Friedman, the doyen of Gonzo private detective fiction, has the right idea when he describes the act of defecation as ‘taking a Nixon’.